Party of Five: No you CANNOT have my free T-shirt.

Last weekend, we loaded up the camper and made our way to beautiful Wolcottville for a camping trip with the Friends.

The kids got along tremendously (Ganon and Sophie have formed a special bond; Shawn has already warned me that I will be paying for that wedding. But I'm not worried, Shawn, because we're just going to throw up a tent and have a hog roast in your backyard after the kids get back from the courthouse, so joke's on you.)

If you've never been to Gordon's Campground in Wolcottville, well, okay. Can't say that I blame you.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was certainly a nice time, and I would go back. But the place has got some, uh.....personality, and might take some getting used to, depending on your expectations.

For instance, they have daily activities that they announce and advertise all over the place.

On Saturday, we headed over to the Bingo Pavilion for Craft Time.

Not a soul was in the Bingo Pavilion. We waited. We called the front desk. We waited some more. Right then a golf cart pulls up, and a woman with a ratty Gordon's T-shirt and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth gets off the golf cart and brings over some bags of beads for the kids to make into bracelets.

Not once did she take that cigarette out of her mouth the entire time we were crafting. Tiffany and I looked at each other, both kind of indignant about this woman smoking directly at our kids, I mean, I get it, we're at a campground, we're in Wolcottville, Indiana for pete's sake, what did I expect, but come on, this was the kids' arts and crafts director, do you really have to smoke while you're doing arts and crafts for the kids???

But, cooler heads prevailed, we simply had our kids sit at a separate table and we brought the craft stuff to them instead of having Ms. Chain-Smoking Bead Lady blowing smoke in their faces the whole time. The kids made their bracelets, and all was well.

Me helping Noah

Here's Sophie modeling the finished product for you

Then there was the playground equipment.

I mean, the kids liked it, but like I told, Ben, "It's like taking our kids to 1981 to play."

There is a newer playground at the front of the campground, with updated equipment. That's what you'll see on their website. What you won't see is the rusty tractor in the playground across from our campsite. Which, of course, all five kids were instantly drawn to.

Nothin' dangerous here, ma!

Then there was the gigantic rusty tower with teensy little chains for barriers and slippery gigantic fifteen-foot tractor tires as bridges.

Don't worry about us, kids, we're just seconds away from a heart attack here watching you guys prance around on this equipment, you kids who are so used to your twenty-first century playground equipment with all those silly government playground safety rules, you have no idea it is even possible to get hurt at a playground, nevermind the image we have right now of you falling fifteen feet from that ridiculous tractor tire and breaking your neck, which means we'll miss the pie-eating contest later, and heaven knows we don't want to do that.

Look, I'm by no means a super-over-protective mom, and I'm okay if my kids do things that they might get hurt on, you know, it's a good learning tool for them.

But this stuff was terrifying. We let them play on it for ten minutes, then shook our heads, called the kids down, and steered them towards the merry-go-round for a while just to save us from collapsing from panic attacks on the spot.

Speaking of the pie-eating contest, here's some pictures. It wasn't actually pie. Just bowls of pudding.

Shawn and Ben.

As Ben said, "My whole life has been one giant training session for this moment right here."

And of course, he was the victor.

It's possible Shawn was a bit of a sore loser.

Other pictures:

This kid's got it figured out.

Walking to the Bingo Pavilion. Ganon and Sophie had to hold hands everywhere.

On the hay ride

All five kids turned into certifiable monkeys on the jungle gym right next to our campsite. Thankfully, this thing was old, but not death-trap material. Climb away, kiddos.

(Travis, Ganon, Noah, Tanner)