I went out and bought some Ball jars. I took the kids with me, and they each got to pick out whatever color decorative marbles they wanted from the craft section at Meijer.
Travis picked blue, Noah picked rainbow (iridescent), and Sophie picked green.
I wrote each of their names on a jar in paint pen. Then we set the jars up on the server in the dining room.
When I see particularly good behavior, they earn a marble. When they misbehave, they lose a marble. When they earn 25 marbles, I take them to buy a toy.
Travis and Noah each made it to the 25 marble mark a few weeks ago. This marble experiment has worked pretty well for them in reinforcing positive behavior and punishing negative behavior.
For instance, Noah was in the habit of getting up multiple times a night to ask for something. We offered him marbles for a few nights of staying in bed, and it worked like a charm. We rarely see him anymore.
They get marbles for sharing and compromising, for helping me or their dad, and other nice things. It's not an exact science, it really is more about my gut feeling. Although I prefer to catch them doing nice things without thinking about marble-earning, I suspect there are often times when the marble is the end goal. Truth be told, that doesn't bother me too much. I figure it is still reinforcing in them what the right behaviors are, even if the reasoning is a bit off. They're still young yet, they don't always have to have the right reasons.
Like today, I heard Sophie wailing about some tragedy. I walked into the kitchen to find Noah retrieving Sophie's grape, which had rolled off her plate and onto the floor.
Sophie said, "thank you Noah!"
Noah says, "do I get a marble for that?"
Ummm...no. Handing your sister dirty food does not exactly qualify as marble-worthy.
At any rate, the boys have done quite well with the marbles.
Sophie.....not so much.
She couldn't care less about the darn marbles. For instance, when she looks like she's about ready to hit her brother over the head with a toy shovel, and I remind her that hitting equals automatic time out, loss of toy, and plus I take away a marble.....
....she looks at me with mild interest, then whomps the shovel down directly on top of Noah's head.
Needless to say, she has struggled with earning, and keeping, marbles.
Now that Noah and Travis have each earned their first toy, we emptied their jars and started over, and they now have to earn 30 marbles to get another toy. They are each well on their way.
Sophie...well, she has eleven marbles. She almost lost one today when she threatened to kick Noah, but I decided against it when she changed her mind and gave him a hug instead.
Travis earned a marble today by letting Noah go first on the Wii when they both wanted to play.
Oftentimes, after the kids have earned a marble, we all head over to the server together and count each child's marbles. It keeps them excited and motivated.
So, we dumped Travis's marbles on the table, then dropped them back in one by one to count his progress. We then did the same with Noah, who is one behind his big brother.
Today, for the first time ever, Sophie showed some mild interest in the marbles. She wanted to dump hers out and count them, like her brothers did. So we did, and counted them together, Sophie counting out loud just a split second behind the rest of us, so she could mimic whatever we were saying.
"one....two....free...furrrr....five....six....seven....eight....nine....ten.....eleven!! Hooray! I have twelve-teen marbles!"
Noah and Travis doubled over in laughter at Sophie's imaginative counting.
But I'm encouraged. The fact that she cares at all that she even has marbles means they might soon start being an actual useful tool in her behavior modification. Which is good. Because otherwise, I'll have to sell her to Goodwill.
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