It's true.
Like tonight, Noah was being loud and not letting Travis go to sleep. I went to their room, gathered Noah up, and told him to say goodbye to his brother because I was going to sell him to Goodwill.
Travis piped up, But I'll miss Noah! Some things about Noah are good!
I generally only use this technique when I'm tired and exhausted and I've run out of nice, calm, appropriate teaching-method ways of dealing with their behavior. I consider it my last resort before I start hurling obscenities and/or sharp objects.
It's all said in jest, of course, and I've made sure to explicitly remind them that it is all a joke and that I would never, ever sell anyone to Goodwill and, of course, point out that although Goodwill does have a "Boys" section, they really only sell boys' clothing and not actual boys.
Regardless, our Goodwill stories typically serve as a kind of tension breaker for all involved.
Our conversations usually go something like this:
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Okay, that's it Noah, I'm going to have to sell you to Goodwill. I'm going to put a sticker on you that says "12 cents" and take you over to Goodwill and put you on a shelf.
Well, I would jump off the shelf and walk home!
Oh, well then I would pack you up in a cardboard box and put a sticker on the cardboard box that says "cute little boy inside, 12 cents" and take you back to Goodwill.
Well, I would break out of the box! 'Cause I am STRONG!
Yes, but then someone that works at Goodwill would see you breaking out of the cardboard box and they would pick you up and put you back in the box and tape the box all up and put a sticker on it that says "cute but strong little boy inside, 12 cents"
Ummmm...and then what would happen?
Well then, some nice family would be shopping at Goodwill and they would see this box on the shelf that said "cute but strong little boy inside, 12 cents" and they would say, Oh, wouldn't it be fun to have a cute and strong little boy at home, and they would take the box up to the counter and give the cashier 12 cents.
But I would make a hole in the box and I would get out and run out of the store!
Oh, well, that's okay, because right then I would be coming up to the store to find you because we would miss you so much and when you got out of the box I would come in and pick you up and say "sorry Goodwill but this cute little boy is mine!" and then I would take you home and cuddle with you.
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Noah generally can't get enough of it, and wants me to keep going, and keeps coming up with more and more scenarios, like but then I would jump out of your lap and into an invisible pipe and it would take me back to Goodwill and THEN what would happen?
At the end of it all, we're all laughing and mostly forget about what it was that started the problem in the first place.
Either I'm a parenting GENIUS or I am profoundly damaging my children.
Your guess is as good as mine.
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