Saturday, June 5, 2010

20 Things You Never Cared to Know

I told myself when I started this blog that I did NOT want it to be just me rambling about the kids. As in, "look at what Noah did, isn't he cute", "Travis is so smart, he said this", or "Here's Sophie being cheesy and goofy and don't you just love it" I love my kids but I am NOT a gushy mom. So, I have decided to devote this post to weird crap about yours truly. Just random things running through my mind.


1. I have a paralyzing fear of accidentally starting the garbage disposal while I've got my other hand stuck down inside it. My heart rate increases a little every time I turn the garbage disposal on, even though I'm quite certain that I have removed all body parts from the area. I think I must have watched The Incredible Shrinking Woman a little too much as a child.

2. I can't sleep with socks on. I get nightmares if I do.

3. There's almost nothing I hate worse than typographical or grammatical errors, particularly on an advertisement or some other 'professional' display. Yes, I'm a grammar snob.

4. About 7 years ago, I won a March Madness pool with about 700 entrants and a $10 buy-in. 1st place was $4,230. I'm secretly insanely proud of that accomplishment even though it was about 98% luck and maybe 2% attributable to any sort of basketball knowledge. But, it convinced some people that I'm some sort of sports genius. I like that.

5. Don't let me drive on long trips. You will undoubtedly run into bad weather. Just ask Tiff or Alison about the tornado on the way home from New York, or Ben about the flash flood in Louisiana. If someone else drives, the weather will clear up almost instantaneously.

6. I live a rather simple life. I don't have any spectacular hobbies (aside from blogging, that is). I haven't traveled around the world (I did just chalk up my first trip to Europe, hooray!). But, I don't really feel unfulfilled. I'm pretty happy with simple things. Give me a glass of wine and a hot tub, and I'm pretty happy.

7. I love singing in the car. I'll only do it when I'm by myself though. I have a terrible singing voice.

8. I hate talking on the phone. HATE it. I'm also not much of a texter. So, I guess if you want to talk to me, you better either drive your butt over to my house and talk to me in person, or send me an e-mail. Or Facebook me.

9. I love my job. But I'm like Chandler -- none of my friends know what I do. I'm a transponster.

10. My nickname was "Didi" when I was growing up, and I hated it. Now I don't mind it so much. But you pretty much have to be one of my sisters to get by with calling me that.

11. I'm skeptical of the medical community. I'm not into holistic medicine really, but I just think doctors look at everything too quickly from a medical point of view. My husband and I were at odds on this point, but I think he finally got what I meant during my last pregnancy, when the doctors insisted on admitting me to the hospital multiple times, running tests ad nauseum, for no other reason than that I didn't go into labor on their pleasant little 40-week timetable. So they started pressuring me to be induced. My obgyn actually made me feel like an irresponsible human for not giving in to induction. Thankfully, I did not give in, Sophie came on her own sweet time (40 weeks + 12 days...which seems to be about my average), everything turned out all right, and it appears God knows what He's doing.

12. I won the school spelling bee when I was in the fifth grade. I went on to the county spelling bee, where I was runner-up and thus qualified for state. I came in 26th in the state out of a couple hundred. They printed the top 25 names in the newspaper. I was devastated. By the way, I went out on the word "tapir". A 5-letter word, for Pete's sake.

13. At the county spelling bee, a girl peed on the stage during her turn. That image is burned into my memory.

14. I love game shows.

15. I'm an Excel mastermind. I love spreadsheets. Does it get dorkier than that?

16. I don't think I have ever cheated on a test in my life. In fourth grade, I got in trouble for allegedly cheating on a state abbreviations test, which I DID NOT DO. I'm still a little bitter about that.

17. I hate shopping. Grocery shopping I don't mind so much, but any other kind I just don't do well. I think its because I just don't like to spend money on things I don't *need*. (By the way, all food falls into the "need" category, whether it is bread or Twizzlers. Thus, I can spend money on Twizzlers like nobody's business.)

18. I once snuck into the tent at the circus where they keep the elephants, with an elephant-crazed friend. And, subsequently got kicked out.

19. I'm fascinated by people's various interpretation of humor. A good sense of humor is about the only quality or human characteristic I can think of that absolutely EVERYONE thinks they've got -- and most people think their own personal sense of humor is superior to others'. In fact, mine is so much better than everyone else's that most people are too far beneath me to even understand mine.

20. That was a joke, by the way.

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