Untitled. On purpose.

Hi, my name is Diane. You might not remember me since it's been quite a while since my last blog update.

life has been a little crazy these last few weeks. Work is absolutely insane, I still love my job but it is a lot of stress. I believe there are some improvements on the horizon, so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Took the kids to Chuck E Cheese for a birthday party, for one of Travis's Pre-K pals. As was expected, Sophie adored Chuck. (Should I call him Chuck? That seems weird. Chuck E? I don't know.) Noah was a little cautious but then really got into it. Speaking of birthdays, Noah's is coming up in about 24 days and he is pretty pumped up. He regularly talks about the Backyardigans cake he intends to have for his party.

This blog is being typed on our new iPad, Ben's Father's Day present. It is, not surprisingly, a welcome addition to our family. I'm typing on it like a keyboard and it's actually going pretty well.

Wish I had more to say, but, alas I just don't. Too tired to think about what else has been going on. I'll be back soon, i promise.

I think I broke it.

Here's the scene:

Travis, age 5, politely asks for some white milk.

Sophie, 18 months, upon hearing the word "milk" makes a beeline for the kitchen table. She starts clambering up the tall kitchen chairs sitting at the table. Of course, she chooses Travis's favorite seat.

Mom pours a cup of milk and calls young Travis to the table. Meanwhile, she attempts to one-handedly swipe Sophie out of the chair and move her to the more appropriate booster seat.

Mom quickly finds out that darling, determined Sophie will not give up that easily. She has set her sights on the coveted end chair and will not be deterred. She grabs hold tight with both hands, and, as Mom lifts Sophie off the chair, Sophie brings the chair with her.

Turns out, Sophie, strong as she is, cannot hold onto said tall kitchen chair for longer than about one-point-two seconds. Chair drops out of her hands, precariously topples for a moment, then crashes to the floor.

Directly atop Mom's pinky toe.

Ouch.

Mr. Sensitivity

I'm mighty proud of Noah tonight.

After dinner, he and Travis were watching the Backyardigans Singing Sensation Sing-a-long DVD, which they just love. (Sophie had already gone to bed, otherwise she would have been nodding her head and bouncing up and down -- her dancing is adorable.)

Anyway, Travis laid down on the bean bag to watch, and actually fell asleep a few minutes into it. This is kind of unlike him, but I think he's been feeling a little under the weather lately, and when that happens he tends to fall asleep early. So, he's snoozing on the bean bag. I was puttering around in the kitchen and starting up some laundry, and I come back into the living room to find Noah climbing down from the table in front of the TV. He is expressly NOT allowed to climb up on that table, so I snapped at him. A little embarrased, he slunk his way over to me and kind of mumbled something sadly. I kneeled down on the floor and asked him to repeat it, and he says "I made it quiet so it wouldn't wake up Travis...." It was then that I noticed the volume had been turned down to an almost inaudible level. I mean, this is Noah's very-favorite-Backyardigans DVD. He never wants to watch anything else. He LOVES it. But he turned it down, because he didn't want to wake up his brother.

Also, he correctly counted to fifty-nine! (Then started back over at thirty...but still! he's a month away from turning three yet!)

So tonight was apparently Noah's night to shine.

In other news:

Ben picked up a one-wheeled bike extension for his bike, for Travis to ride. This weekend we tested out our new bike set-up and rode to a local park, Travis trailing Ben and Noah & Sophie in the bike trailer. Kids loved it, good time had by all. We're a cute little family all cycling around the neighborhood. I'd post a picture if I had one. Stay tuned.

I was considering signing the boys up for Vacation Bible School at the church behind our house, but it is 5 Wednesdays in a row and I think we'll have to miss 3 of them due to previously planned activities. I might do it anyway though, I think they'd like it.

Camping trip planned for the rest of the week, I'm officially on vacation now.

Princess Sophie

The other day, Sophie and I had a 'girls day'. Ben took the boys to his parents house to frolic, and Sophie and I hung out, did a little shopping, and ate dinner with some pals.

While shopping, I picked up a ridiculous little purse for Sophie, all sparkly butterfly-like. Does she need a purse? Well, of course not, she's not even 18 months old yet. Yes, its a little silly, and maybe I'm spoiling my little diva -- but, whoo boy she loves this purse.



Now, its not an entirely frivolous purchase. We're going on a camping vacation to the beach soon, and she'll need someplace to put her sunglasses and hat while she's playing in the water, right?

20 Things You Never Cared to Know

I told myself when I started this blog that I did NOT want it to be just me rambling about the kids. As in, "look at what Noah did, isn't he cute", "Travis is so smart, he said this", or "Here's Sophie being cheesy and goofy and don't you just love it" I love my kids but I am NOT a gushy mom. So, I have decided to devote this post to weird crap about yours truly. Just random things running through my mind.


1. I have a paralyzing fear of accidentally starting the garbage disposal while I've got my other hand stuck down inside it. My heart rate increases a little every time I turn the garbage disposal on, even though I'm quite certain that I have removed all body parts from the area. I think I must have watched The Incredible Shrinking Woman a little too much as a child.

2. I can't sleep with socks on. I get nightmares if I do.

3. There's almost nothing I hate worse than typographical or grammatical errors, particularly on an advertisement or some other 'professional' display. Yes, I'm a grammar snob.

4. About 7 years ago, I won a March Madness pool with about 700 entrants and a $10 buy-in. 1st place was $4,230. I'm secretly insanely proud of that accomplishment even though it was about 98% luck and maybe 2% attributable to any sort of basketball knowledge. But, it convinced some people that I'm some sort of sports genius. I like that.

5. Don't let me drive on long trips. You will undoubtedly run into bad weather. Just ask Tiff or Alison about the tornado on the way home from New York, or Ben about the flash flood in Louisiana. If someone else drives, the weather will clear up almost instantaneously.

6. I live a rather simple life. I don't have any spectacular hobbies (aside from blogging, that is). I haven't traveled around the world (I did just chalk up my first trip to Europe, hooray!). But, I don't really feel unfulfilled. I'm pretty happy with simple things. Give me a glass of wine and a hot tub, and I'm pretty happy.

7. I love singing in the car. I'll only do it when I'm by myself though. I have a terrible singing voice.

8. I hate talking on the phone. HATE it. I'm also not much of a texter. So, I guess if you want to talk to me, you better either drive your butt over to my house and talk to me in person, or send me an e-mail. Or Facebook me.

9. I love my job. But I'm like Chandler -- none of my friends know what I do. I'm a transponster.

10. My nickname was "Didi" when I was growing up, and I hated it. Now I don't mind it so much. But you pretty much have to be one of my sisters to get by with calling me that.

11. I'm skeptical of the medical community. I'm not into holistic medicine really, but I just think doctors look at everything too quickly from a medical point of view. My husband and I were at odds on this point, but I think he finally got what I meant during my last pregnancy, when the doctors insisted on admitting me to the hospital multiple times, running tests ad nauseum, for no other reason than that I didn't go into labor on their pleasant little 40-week timetable. So they started pressuring me to be induced. My obgyn actually made me feel like an irresponsible human for not giving in to induction. Thankfully, I did not give in, Sophie came on her own sweet time (40 weeks + 12 days...which seems to be about my average), everything turned out all right, and it appears God knows what He's doing.

12. I won the school spelling bee when I was in the fifth grade. I went on to the county spelling bee, where I was runner-up and thus qualified for state. I came in 26th in the state out of a couple hundred. They printed the top 25 names in the newspaper. I was devastated. By the way, I went out on the word "tapir". A 5-letter word, for Pete's sake.

13. At the county spelling bee, a girl peed on the stage during her turn. That image is burned into my memory.

14. I love game shows.

15. I'm an Excel mastermind. I love spreadsheets. Does it get dorkier than that?

16. I don't think I have ever cheated on a test in my life. In fourth grade, I got in trouble for allegedly cheating on a state abbreviations test, which I DID NOT DO. I'm still a little bitter about that.

17. I hate shopping. Grocery shopping I don't mind so much, but any other kind I just don't do well. I think its because I just don't like to spend money on things I don't *need*. (By the way, all food falls into the "need" category, whether it is bread or Twizzlers. Thus, I can spend money on Twizzlers like nobody's business.)

18. I once snuck into the tent at the circus where they keep the elephants, with an elephant-crazed friend. And, subsequently got kicked out.

19. I'm fascinated by people's various interpretation of humor. A good sense of humor is about the only quality or human characteristic I can think of that absolutely EVERYONE thinks they've got -- and most people think their own personal sense of humor is superior to others'. In fact, mine is so much better than everyone else's that most people are too far beneath me to even understand mine.

20. That was a joke, by the way.

Patience is a vert-yoo

I feel like lots of people have kids because its the next thing to do on their 'list'. Finish school, get married, have kids. And I feel like people get so tied up in the thought of having a baby that babyhood is all they focus on.


For my part, as much as I love my children in their infant, toddler & pre-school phases, I also really look forward to talking to Travis about his fifth-grade homework problems, about adolescent crap that's so horrible and yet so life-developing at the same time; reassuring Noah as he goes through competitive battles with his older brother and establishes his own identity; watching Sophie grow into a tomboy or a girlie-girl or wherever on that spectrum she lies; going on family vacations when the kids are older, more independent, when they bicker back and forth in the car but also help each other hike to the top of the mountain, when they push each other under the statue of Paul Bunyan in Bemidji, Minnesota but also sing goofy songs together around the campfire. I think (I hope) I'll thrive in that parenting stage. Parenting babies and toddlers is fun, but I can't wait for that next step. Well, that's not true. I can wait. But I'm really excited for it.


I got to thinking about this last week as I was at the end of my rope with Travis and Noah whining before bedtime about getting their teeth brushed. We'd gone upstairs, I was changing into my pjs, they were in the bathroom waiting for me to load up their toothbrushes with SpiderMan Super-Action Mint toothpaste. By the time I got into the bathroom they were both politely expressing their desires, something along the lines of "MOM! GET ME MY TOOTHPASTE! MOM! TOOTHPASTE! MOOOOMMMMM!!"


So I sat them both down and explained to them that its important that they learn how to have patience; their lives will be much improved if they are well equipped to handle waiting for things without flipping out. So, as they are gripping their toothbrushes, looking at me solemnly as I pass along this important life lesson, I made them each repeat "Patience is a virtue" before I rewarded them with their long awaited toothpaste. It was so adorable. I wish I had it on tape. Their sweet blue eyes and serious faces as they each recited the phrase.


Anyway, I really like that kind of thing. I want to be the kind of mom where, when my kids grow up, they say "My mom always told me....." It might be a little cliche, a little cheesy, a little trite -- but I like it. I'll probably repeat myself a lot, some lessons might take a little time to sink in, some may never sink in. I'm okay with that.

I find myself looking for reasons to bring up semi-uncomfortable subjects with Travis, now that he's a little older and more able to understand some things. Like the time we were at Goodwill and there was a mentally challenged adult there, shopping with his guardian. He made strange noises, walked and talked in very conspicuous ways, and drew stares from most of the patrons. When we got in the car, we talked about it - how he acted different than us, maybe in ways that other people thought strange -- but it is our job to treat people equally and love all people, because God wants us to love everyone, even if we don't understand them. He said, "Well, I loved him!" Or the time we talked briefly about drugs (because of a radio commercial that said "talk to your kids about drugs" -- and Travis said, "what's drugs?") -- where I told him that some kids don't have parents that help them make good decisions, and sometimes even adults don't make very good decisions, and that its my job to help him understand how to make good decisions, and both of our jobs to help other people make good decisions when we can.


Obviously I know that reality may be more than I bargained for, and perhaps I'm foolish to think I'll be even remotely successful in my endeavors -- and I'm certain I'll have some failure along the way. But if there is one thing I want for my kids, its that they are comfortable having open conversations about darn well anything, even stuff that's difficult to talk about. I don't want that kind of stuff to sneak up on me as a "side effect" of parenting -- I kind of feel like thats the most important job I've got.

PorcupineSaysWhat?

Travis has been on a kick lately of asking me for porcupine gloves. It, naturally, threw me off a little at first. I have no idea where he came up with this concept.

It all started because I was trying to bribe my two-year-old into potty training. I made mention of a possible sucker treat in exchange for a successful potty expedition. Noah inquires, "do we have a sucker, mom?" (In other words, he's catching on....don't get your hopes up just because Mom promises you something, first make sure we've got it on hand. Its possible I've made that mistake before, as in "Who wants pudding for a snack??! Okay, sit in your seats! Do you want chocolate pudding or vanilla pudd.....uh.... I mean.... oops. I didn't pick up any pudding at the store. Um.... Hmmm. Who wants broccoli?")


Anyway, Travis pipes up with his solution if it so happens that I've over-promised once again. He says, well, if we don't have any suckers, we can make a sucker machine!


Then about ten minutes later he informs me that the materials required to make a sucker machine are in the garage, somewhere near the ceiling. I have no idea what those materials are, nor do I have any idea how to construct a sucker machine. I'm assuming Travis looked it up on eHow.com or something. At any rate, since he wasn't sure how to get to the ceiling in the garage to retrieve said materials, he asked if I knew how to get porcupine gloves. He explained that porcupine gloves would allow him to climb the walls of the garage, thereby allowing him to reach the necessary sucker machine components. (Naturally, Mom!)


What a problem solver that kid is.


He's not giving up on this either. A friend came over the other day shortly after I put the kids to bed, and I told them she'd be coming over in case they heard us talking downstairs. Travis said, "Okay, Mom. Can you ask Erin if she knows how to make porcupine gloves?" Today we were shopping at Kohl's, (or Clothes, as Travis calls it....he assumes its named after what we go shopping there for) and he asked me if Kohl's would have porcupine gloves there for us to buy.


A quick Google search turned up this little number. I'm just not sure what to think about it.







Anyway, if anyone knows where I could pick up a cheap set of porcupine gloves that will safely and easily allow my son to climb to the top of the garage, let me know.

Say cheese and don't ever do that again

Tonight, I'm ironing Ben's gown for graduation this evening. (For those of you trying to figure out what secret we've been keeping, no, Ben is not graduating. He is attending Baccalaureate Mass at the High School he works at, so every year we have to break out the cap and gown garb for the event.)

As I'm ironing, my back to the kitchen, I hear a high-pitched squealing noise that immediately makes me think, "Oh, that can't be good". Clearly, Sophie is delighting in something that she knows she is not supposed to.


And indeed, I turn around to find this.

Sophie standing in the dog's water. Treating her little toes to a dog-bowl bath.


Of course, I properly reprimanded her. But not before grabbing the camera to snap a picture.





Does that send a mixed message? I'm starting to think so. She seemed awful proud of herself afterwards. I mean, if its the kind of thing people want to capture on camera, surely its the kind of thing that bears repeating? Over and over again? In front of company whenever possible?

Canada in Exile

Well, its official. Canada has moved in.

For the first week or so, he was fairly mild-mannered. Very loving and not nearly as puppy-like as I expected. Rarely chewing on things, not too jumpy or hyper.


Turns out, he was just snowing us until we all fell in love with him too much to do anything about it when his real puppy-self was revealed.


We've had a couple toy casualties, a decorative basket was systematically destroyed, he nips at anyone's feet that make their way down the stairway, jumps up and grabs food from the kids while they eat at the dinner table, grabs stuffed animals from poor unsuspecting Sophie, and runs circles around the house during his hyper time of 6 to 8 p.m.


But, alas.... We love him.


As much as he can drive me batty, and as much time as I spend hollering at him, he really does fit into the family quite well, and I'm very happy with him. I find his emerging puppy-ness endearing, because I think it means he considers himself at home. We're his family, dammit.


Sneaky little guy, he is.

One - turns out its not a lonely number at all

I love one-year-olds. Its such a cool age.


Don't get me wrong.... I tend to adore whatever ages my kids are currently at. There's neat stuff that comes with every age -- like Travis going to school, developing a love of reading, learning how things work, advancing his critical thinking skills. For instance, last night I was playing "Word Warp" on the iTouch. Travis said, "you couldn't play word warp with just one letter, because its called word warp -- and you can't warp just one letter!" I loved the fact that not only did he of course determine what was necessary for the mechanics of the game, but that he even related it to the name of the game. He's one sharp cookie.


And Noah, at nearly-three - its awesome to watch his burgeoning sense of humor, his greater understanding of relationships, cause & effect, and the like. There's something really fascinating about the two and three year old age, because they're so dependent and independent at the same time.


No, I love where the boys are at, and I would never want them to go back to those days when I counted their ages in months instead of years.


But I do think the one-year stage is my favorite.


Having seen the boys go through this age, I know that this is indeed a precursor to what Sophie's personality will eventually develop into -- her stubbornness and sense of purpose are not likely to recede. But she's not yet at the place where she is willfully defiant or testing boundaries -- like Noah, for instance, who knows just how to push everyone's buttons, or Travis, who gets moody and sullen when he doesn't get his way. No, Sophie is just pure and honest in her agenda and her motivations. Happy when she gets what she wants, sad when she doesn't -- but not begrudging, not bitter. She's thrilled with simple joys, like Canada licking at her toes while she sits at the dinner table; she delights in silly games and peek-a-boo; she screams when she gets reprimanded for playing with the dog food bowl, she cries when Noah won't let her play Wii Sports Resort, but a kiss and a cuddle are all it takes to cheer her up. She wakes up loving life, a smile on her face, ready to take on whatever comes her way.


Aaah, my sweet Sophie.

Bicycle trailer built for two (but I got three in there anyway)

Crammed all the kiddos into our new bike trailer today. I wasn't prepared to attach it to my bike just yet, though -- I think I'll need Ben for that part. But, it doubles as a stroller, so we took a nice stroll complete with dog on leash.

The kids were a little cramped (and, yes, I shoved them in there despite the warnings all over the box about a "MAXIMUM CAPACITY" of 2 -- at least we were still under the weight limit), but they loved it, Canada enjoyed running alongside them, and it was a decent workout for me.

First Blog

I feel a little like Doogie Howser, as I update my blog. I notice myself thinking of my day in little blurb-y paragraphs, with the perfect combination of wit and reflection.

Was Doogie the original blogger? Who knew?

So, I'll leave you with some immortal words of wisdom from Doogie himself.

MONDAY, JUNE 11, 1990

Why am I busting my butt as a doctor while Wanda is strolling down the Champs Elysees? Maybe if I knew a little less, I'd have time to live a little more. Even when you're a genius, life's a mystery.

A Photo Montage of Fun Fair 2010

Noah playing Plinko - yes, he's back there somewhere.

Travis playing basketball

Uh -- this is Travis going down the slide. I was too slow with the camera. You can see Noah heading for the steps in the middle. I learned my lesson this time, though, yessirree, I'll get a good picture the second time around.....

Nope. Too quick on the trigger this time. Those are Noah's shoes getting ready to make their way down.

Sophie's favorite part of the Fun Fair -- eating.

Noah

Travis cheesing for the camera.

Okay -- not nearly as cheesy as Dad.

And here's me.

More eating....cake this time.

Eat some cake, ma!

Of COURSE I'll have some cake!!

Swoop shows up at the fun fair! Travis and Noah are crowding to get a closer look. Travis loves Swoop. Noah's a little unsure.

Sophie's not unsure at all. This is right up her alley.

Sophie trying to give Swoop a hug. Travis trying to help.

Noah got a little shy. I absolutely love this picture, because, even though Swoop's facial expression is perpetual and unchangeable, it totally looks like he's thinking, "Gee. Wonder what's wrong with that kid?"

Travis going through the obstacle course.

He made it all the way through! Tougher than you might think. Can't you just see the pride on his face??

Bean bag toss

Noah's turn. This was his "starting" position, then he inched closer and closer as he extended his arm, until he was essentially dropping it into the hole. Hey, whatever works.

Please let me out of the blasted stroller? PLEASE?!??!!!?

Finally. Thank you.

The boys LOVED the cake walk. They did it probably ten times. Noah even won us a plate of chocolate chip cookies!

Showing off his loot. Hey, he worked HARD for that!! He walked in a circle, like, a bunch of times!

Travis getting in on the action. You should have seen him when Noah won the cake walk. They were standing on consecutive numbers, so Travis was right next to him. I wondered if he might be disappointed that he didn't win. Oh, no, my friends, quite the opposite. He was jumping up and down and giving Noah high-fives. And that was before he realized that cookies came with the deal.

Okay, I love this picture, because, well, who couldn't love this picture?? This sums up our Fun Fair afternoon quite well.

Lost

Tonight, Travis and I made a book. We've been talking about doing it for a while, so sat down tonight and finally got it done. Its called:

Grumpy Bear goes to the Beach for the very first time

Travis dictated, and I wrote. I take no credit for any of the content within in the book, as it all came from his little imagination.

Part of the story was about Grumpy Bear's secret keys, which are invisible and also presumably magical, since they move by themselves and go wherever Grumpy tells them to go.

The purpose of them being invisible is apparently so that other Care Bears don't accidentally grab them, as is explained in the book.

I think this comes from Travis's understanding of how pitiful both of his parents are at keeping track of our keys. There is not a week that goes by where we're not bickering about who was the last person to use whose keys, or contemplating about where one might have put one's keys after coming in from the grocery with arms laden, or haggling about who gets to use which keys since the other keys are lost. Couple this with Ben's tendency to stick anything in his pocket that lingers in his hand for more than fifteen seconds, and it leads to an awful lot of discussion about the whereabouts of key rings.

Oh, to have invisible magical keys like Grumpy Bear.

Life Lessons

Travis just got done playing me a song on the piano. He finished up, turned to me, and told me the song was called "The Rock" because "it rocks and rolls." That it does, Travis, that it does.

We had a fairly laid back night tonight, having a marathon of silly kids games.... Ants in the Pants, Scatterpillar Scramble, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Toy Story Kerplunk, and Cars Bingo. Most of the games involved me, Noah, and Travis crowded around the toy table, while I simultaneously focused on batting Sophie away with one hand to keep her away from the marbles, or the mini-aliens, or the ants, or the bingo discs.

But, wait, what's this? Is this all three of my children cooperating and cleaning up at the same time? With no fights, and no near-choking incidents? Ahh, the night was a success.

After our game session, Travis informed me he was "MAD!" at me, because I told him he could not play with iPhone (or the iTouch or the Droid). I told him that sometimes I get mad too... and what happens when I get mad is that I get sulky and snappy and I'm no fun to be around. And then I realize I'm not having any fun because I'm not being any fun. And if you can find a way to be fun, chances are you'll have fun. So, Travis, can you think of any way to be fun right now?

Travis contemplated this for a moment.

And then Noah licked me.

He had been sitting on my lap, absentmindedly playing with some toy, apparently heard my conversation with Travis, and decided the appropriate way to BE fun would be to lick Mom. On the cheek. All slobbery and slippery in its unabashedly slimy glory.

Well, as it turns out, its hard for pretty much any kid to be in a grumpy mood when Mom is being licked. Problem solved.