Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Fast Food Mayhem

Chaos.

That's the best way to describe our evening last night.

Yesterday, a friend at work stopped by my office and told me she was taking her two boys, ages 8 and 4, to a movie; and asked if I wanted to bring the kids and go along. Our husbands are both bowling in a league together on Tuesday nights, so she decided she was going to do something fun, doggonit, and not just sit around at home just because it was dads-night-out.

Sophie has yet to attend a movie theater; I'm not sure how she would do. The first and only movie that Noah has seen in a theater was Toy Story 3, and he spent most of the time standing up in his seat, leaping into my lap, and screaming "TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!!!"

I turned down the movie.

But, she also mentioned that they would be going to Chick-Fil-A for dinner, Tuesday is kids night; they have a play area, free kids meal with purchase of adult meal, plus they were making silly putty and had balloon animals. All sounded like good fun, so after picking the kids up after work, we ventured out to Chick-Fil-A to meet her there.

I got there a little early, so I let the kids play in the play room before eating.

The play room is really nothing more than a giant curly tube slide, with a couple tunnels and a little toddler area. But the kids loved climbing up, through the tunnels, into the little hidden cubbies, and down the slide, ad nauseum.

After about ten minutes, I told the kids they had one last trip down the slide and then we'd put shoes on and go eat, and they could play again after eating. Right about that time, I saw Melissa and her kids entering the restaurant; perfect timing. Sophie ran right up to her and insisted that "Wissa" carry her; Travis started putting his shoes on, and Noah....was nowhere to be found.

Noah?

NOAH!

The play area is in a room by itself, and I had been sitting right next to the door, so I knew he wasn't gone. He was hiding.

I called for him to come down in my firmest, I-mean-business voice. I heard a random kid from somewhere inside the maze of tubes and tunnels say, "Are you Noah?"

There he was, hidden in one of the tunnels, at the top of the play structure. If I stood on my tiptoes and craned my neck, I could see the top of his little head through one of the mesh walls.

NOAH!!! GET DOWN HERE NOW!

Nothing.

I instructed Travis to go get him.

With my shoes on, mom??

Yes. I don't care. Just go get him.

Travis made his way up. I could see him pleading his case. Come ON Noah, mom says you need to come DOWN now!

No luck.

I tossed my handful of bag/coats/purse/food to the floor and marched my way over to that blasted play structure. Up the teeny stairs and through the itty-bitty tunnels, like Alice in Wonderland, I made my way through until I found Noah's hiding place.

He saw me and froze. How did YOU get up here, Mom?

Never mind that, you get down there RIGHT NOW, I am not playing around, and you are in BIG TROUBLE.

I forcibly shoved him down the slide, kind of reminiscent of the little kid in A Christmas Story.

I made my way back down (I did not go down the slide, thank you very much), leaving stunned little kids in my wake.

I shoved Noah's shoes on, grabbed my stuff, and went out to meet Melissa, Sophie, and her kids in the restaurant area. Noah was crying, but at least not making a terrible scene. We sat down to eat.

Travis sat with the 'big boys', Noah was forced to sit at the grown-up table, and Sophie sat on my lap. She ate a couple nuggets and some fries, scarfed down some milk, and then insisted on getting down.

I wanna play in the playground!

Not now Sophie. Let's finish eating.

[sob] I WANNA PLAY IN THE PLAYGROUND!!! [whimper] [sob]

Sophie. Finish eating first. We'll play in a minute.

I WANT SOME ICE CREAM!

No, no ice cream. We'll go to the playground once you finish eating. Here, have a nugget.

I WANNA SIT WITH WISSA!

Thankfully, Melissa was amiable as ever and let Sophie sit with her, distracted her with kiddie toys, and calmed her down somewhat.

The boys got some balloon toys. I let Travis go play but made Noah sit with me until we were all done eating, in a half-hearted attempt to enact some punishment for his earlier mishap.

Finally we all went back to the play area. It had gotten exponentially crazier since we'd been in there the first time.

There were some older kids running around playing tag. A couple kids bonked heads together inside the tubes and both came out wailing. Some little girl that couldn't have been more than four wrapped both her arms around Sophie and picked her right up, to Sophie's utter delight. At one point there was a bottleneck inside the tube slide and about ten kids got backed up in there, with one or two kids at the front blocking the way out. Once the area was cleared, one by one kids made their way out, some giggling, others screeching with delight, still others tearful and crying. It was like a clown car of toddlers and pre-schoolers and pre-adolescents.

I reprimanded a couple older kids for climbing up the slide, and being a little too rough around the younger kids. (I was wielding Noah's balloon sword. They were sufficiently threatened.)

One of the other moms in the play area appropriately lamented, Don't they serve wine at Chick-Fil-A?

Finally, it was time to go. I rounded up the kids, Noah behaved this time, and made our way out of there. We stopped by the silly putty table on our way out and each kid got a plastic Easter egg filled with homemade silly putty. ("It looks like birthday cake frosting, Mom!" Noah later exclaimed.)

On the way home, Noah and Sophie fought incessantly over the balloon sword, and Sophie kept opening up her Easter egg and wailing, "You fix it, Mom?!? I broke my egg, you fix it??"

Now we're home. I'm exhausted. And all out of wine.

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