Depression and chocolate syrup

The term "post-partum depression" really drives me nuts. Its not as if the symptoms are any different than your normal, run-of-the-mill, street corner depression. Post-partum just describes the time that the depression materializes; and supposedly, pinpoints a distinct cause. Namely, the hormones that God apparently thinks is useful to send running haywire through your body after delivering a baby....after already having gone through the better part of a year in discomfort, misery, and all-around yuckiness . Okay, maybe that's just me. Its possible I'm a little bitter.

At any rate, its not as if other maladies are named differently due to their cause. Like if you got lung cancer because of smoking for 25 years versus from working in a plastics factory, its not like they diagnose you with post-cigarette lung cancer. It is what it is.

Are you supposed to wear that 'post-partum' tag like a badge of honor? "Oh, I got my depression from having a baby, where did you get yours from? Going through a divorce? Lost your job? I see -- well, mine is all natural, baby!"

And how long does that "post-partum" thing last? Google sources tell me it can be as long as two years. If you're not cured after that, does it just switch to good ol' regular depression? Or do you still consider yourself post-partum after your kids have grown up and moved out and are posting their own partums?

Sophie is 21 months old now. So feasibly, I guess I could still be considered post-partum. I'm currently not pregnant, thus by default am post partum. Post multiple partums, actually. My body has gone through so many partums it seems to have forgotten what pre-partum life was like.

I'm quite frustrated by my inability to handle depression (PPD or regular D or whatever D you want to call it) without medication. I mean, it seems to be working, but is this what God intended? What did people do pre-medication? Like cro-magnon times? Or Biblical times? If those women were expected to just deal with it, why do I feel like I deserve some quick fix? And, I don't much like adding some concoction that a chemist put together in a lab to my daily dietary intake.

But, better that than driving my poor husband and family crazy by weeping at the drop of a hat (literally... like, oh my god, Sophie dropped her hat. What do I do now? sob sob). I'll get there someday.

I am considering changing my treatment. From now on, when I get sad, I'll just give Sophie some ice cream. Nobody can stay depressed around this.